Not a guilt but love.


My mother committed suicide when she was 37.  

I am on an age with her now.


I was an elementary school girl at that time.

One day when I woke up, I found her dead. 

She was hanging down with her face as the same as ever. I couldn’t react straightaway.

“I’s alright. Nothing horrible has happened.” I talked to myself, stood still and cried silently.


Dying leaving children is the hardest and worst thing, I understand it as I have my child.

Wish I could keep seeing their growth and lives.

Who will they get married with?

Wish I could do more for them.

Wish I could smile to them and say, “it’ll be alright”.

Many thoughts come up in my mind thinking if I pass away right now.


However, as a psychic counselor, I have one thing in my mind.

All souls are important. No single soul is the more important than the others.


A sin that you couldn’t protect your children.

A sin that you prioritized yourself than children.

A sin that you couldn’t make your children happy.

There are no sins like that in this world. 


You were beyond your ability at that time.

You couldn’t take it further anymore at that time.

The value of souls is the same for both parents and children.

It was your limit and you couldn’t stand up again, that’s all.

There are no sins nor guilts about it.


You don’t have to bear the blame that you couldn’t protect your children.

You don’t have to bear the blame that you couldn’t save your parents.


Neither are guilty.

The momentousness of both souls is the same.

And the momentousness is love for each other.


Please don’t blame yourself.

The heaviness of momentousness you feel is your love.


It’s full moon tonight. Have a good night.


Gokigenyo, bye.

flora suoh